Monday, 30 November 2015

CHRISTMAS DAY

With a thump down the chimney he came carrying tons of presents on his back.  I smelled gingerbread and I felt joyful.  He put the sparkling presents under the tree and left like a thief!  Then I saw his sleigh move to the next house and he shouted.... Ho, Ho, Ho and took off into the night sky.  I woke up and realized it was Christmas morning so I woke up my parents and we went downstairs to look at our presents.  Then we opened them.  I got everything I wanted and we visited our relatives and had a feast.  It was a wonderful time.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Ronan,
    Great work on your story! I think you did an awesome job describing the scene. I could really feel the Christmas essence when I read it. Maybe next time, you might like to include a little bit more detail during the part when Santa is inside the house. I could really connect to when you said "I smelled gingerbread", and it reminded me about everything else I love about Christmas. What's your favourite thing about Christmas?

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  2. Hi,
    I like your story. It was really good but next time you could explode the moment at least 1 time to make it feel like your really there when you read it. But other than that it was really good.

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